Long Gone

I never went to prom. 

And honestly, I wished I did. I wished that the stupid prom committee during high school hadn't made the whole thing some dumb exclusive thing for themselves and their friends. I wished that I had had the chance to dress up, to meet with my girlfriends, and go off in excitement to the venue. I wished that we had held sleepovers, went shopping together, discussed our outfits, exchanged accessories, and helped each other with our make-up(though my face will probably be more bare-faced than made-up, heh). 

I wished I had more friends at college, that I could go to prom with. But I don't. I'm not the most sociable person ever, unlike most people I know. I'm too quiet, I'm terrible at making friends. 

But I'm complaining too much. All this is of my own doing. And I'll have to pay for it.

Steph has been to prom; twice. College is, at any rate, my last chance of going to prom, and I've thrown it away. Oh well. Nothing I can do about that. 

I've tried hard not to let the pressure get to me, that not having experienced prom is not the worst thing ever. It's not the worst thing, true, but I keep encountering people and their prom memories, all those cheesy photos with overdone make-up and elaborate glittery outfits, and eventually it hurts. It sucks to not know how it feels, something that everyone else around you knows and has experienced. 

But who am I kidding? There's no point in looking back now. Even if it's one of my biggest regrets in life. I suppose it's a small thing, not worth fussing over, and I don't fuss over it. 

I just didn't know that a tiny decision I never thought twice about would affect me this bad in the future.