The Boy Who Tried to Kiss Me

Your eyes are soul-less
As piercing as they may be
In their amber light, a dangerous fire
I know I can see. 

Your voice rumbles deep, low, wanting
Like an earthquake below, I feel the tremor of disaster,
Just waiting, coming, and still I wonder
Why do I still remain here
Standing in my smiles and laughter,
Trying still to reach out to you, choosing to ignore
The one thing I was so naive about. 

You run like the movies, expecting a triumphant reply
You call out my name, like a romantic's excited sigh
I could feel your desire, encroaching, rising,
When you pulled me into the darkness; still I was questioning.
Again and again you try, your warmth wrapping me
In an artificial bubble, you're trying to make me see
I'm nearly trapped, I nearly fall, saved only by my sick thoughts of
How fake, how false, just a magic trick. 

I'm trying to think of another, another better reason...
Fool! Such I was, perhaps it was just the medicine.

Don't lean in like this, not on me
Don't hold me like you've known me for eternity
Don't put your arms around me like I belong to you
You know me not inside out, 
You make me cringe, oh you confusing fool! 

Don't tilt your head, don't bury it into mine
Don't try to lock on me using your magician's trick
I am no bunny, I am not to be used
Your desire, your actions, it's all just a ruse. 
There's no warmth in the way you hold me
No understanding in your heart when you speak to me
There's nothing but emptiness, driven by physical desire
In your eyes, I can see, whenever you look at me. 

The awkward turn, my body tense,
And still you held me in your arms.
Alarms bells are ringing, deep inside
Pulling me back immediately with a quick gasp.
(And if you wondered about the strange laughter, 
I was a girl ill; at that moment, flattery was but a shield.)

My skin crawls with goosebumps, whenever I recall
That faint memory, like it was ages ago. 
Five days, on an island, in a room full of fifty
One boy and his troubled heart, who tried to kiss me.

This poem is deeply personal, about a particular experience I had. I love how poetry allows me to express my feelings without being too open, and only allowing the certain vague details to show. I could be blunt, or vague, or metaphorical, and I could mix it all up if I wanted to. That is the beauty of poetry, there is just so much to it. 
But anyway, I debated actually putting this poem up on my public blog, because it might shock those who are close to me who may find it and read it. And even if it's someone who doesn't quite know me that well... well, it doesn't matter. The poem title is pretty much self-explanatory, however, the poem is pretty much something else in my intentions. 

If anyone wants to know more, you can just message me on Facebook or text or call or email. And please, I am not villain-izing the person I was talking about. He is in no way a bad person, and that much I will say.

God bless you all, and goodnight.

(I know I posted like, two posts today, but that's just I felt like it. Hah. More stupid conversation quotes to come!)