Blessing

"... Esther. The blessing blessings, my heaven on earth. The name that makes me smile like no earthly force. The name I cherish more than anything on earth."

I love you too. :') 

I don't understand how I am a blessing. I see myself as a hard, cold, horribly socially-awkward girl who can't seem to fit in anywhere, who doesn't love people. I see myself as a terrible person, with barely any friends, with a confused mind, and a stubborn head. 

I don't understand how you can love me. Or how God can love me. 
I still don't understand how I am loved. I just don't. I know it's true; yet why do I find it so difficult to believe? What is it that you see in me that I can't? 

I make a horrible friend, I am a horrible person. 
I feel so undeserving, all the times, for everything you've given me. I am a bad daughter, a terrible sister, a disastrous friend, a selfish being. 

But... in all that, you still love me. 
And I can never be more thankful, or cherish so much more than that. Thank you for loving me. Even in a time when I feel like a bag of trash. Thank you for loving me. Even when I screw up and make mistakes. Thank you for loving me. For being me, my flaws, and I. 

You too... you are a blessing. Thank you, God, for the sweetest boy in the world. 

    I love you too.