It's called Creative Writing with emphasis on Short Stories, and isn't particularly difficult. Okay, I take that back, it's pretty easy when all you do is read short stories, discuss them in class, post some reactions online to a prompt question and eventually write out drafts for two or three short stories. No problemo.
Except the discussion part, O goodness, it's all we do for an hour. Sit there and discuss about one story. It's not that I don't like dissecting these short stories and pulling them apart to inspect every single element in its body and making hypotheses and inferences based on my own interpretations, but my brain refuses to function so early in the morning despite me pumping it with breakfast energy. Second week of school, and I have yet to contribute to a single discussion because my head is too busy trying to stay awake while feeding me vague ideas and shallow observations of the story which was on the plate.
Since when did I suddenly become so scientific in my metaphors?
Must be all that science of biology and chemistry and physics coming back to haunt me.
Anyway. Now that I'm done with my usual funky off-topic introduction rant.
Today we had another discussion in class, all the while in which my head was drooping second only to my eyelids. We were talking about Anton Chekov's "The Lady with the Lapdog", which, to be honest, didn't interest me very much. It was set in Russia during Chekov's time, I suppose, which was a long time ago. Long enough for this story to now be available free for all on the internet without having to fear royalties and copyright battles.
The story talks about a man who is a serial adulterer, whom, despite being married with three kids, is unsatisfied with his arranged marriage and sleeps around while openly admitting that women were the "lower class". Talk about feminist rage, one of my female classmates(who takes things VERY seriously) balked in sheer anger at the character, as if he was real. This male character meets an innocent-looking young newcomer in town, a woman who walks around with a white Pomeranian and sets her as his next target. As the story goes, it is implied that they fall in love, but cannot be together as they are married to other people. The man undergoes significant changes in his character, due to this young woman who, despite the affair, thrashes herself about for her "sins" and for her vice and unfaithfulness.
I won't go on too much about it, but you get the point of the plot. Eventually, the discussion turned to the "meaning of love". My professor wondered aloud "what is the meaning of love? Love is so conventional, yet I have never read anything that truly defines it. What is love?"
Obviously, there came the round of different opinions from my classmates, but for the first time his question made me perk up. Brain juices suddenly got restored or something.
"What is love?"
My professor is a published writer and novelist; he must have read a ton of literature. And yet, he doesn't even know the simple definition which comes from the mouth of the One God:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
Okay, yes, so maybe we're just focusing on literature here. Definitions of different kinds of love in the voices of several men and women. But that verse just... triumphs it all. It embraces every kind of love each human being is capable of. Why? Because God Himself is love, God Himself loves, and God Himself gave man the right to love as He does. In fact, he commands that we do so.
This, however, was what was running through my mind while my classmates were giving opinions on something "spiritual, uplifting, etc.". No disrespect to one of them who said that, he knows not what he says, at least. Or, he probably doesn't know who God is.
What is love?
Love is God sending His only begotten Son down to earth, in a world plagued by sin, to suffer and die for us, to shed His blood and be the perfect sacrifice so that all mankind could have a clear path to Heaven. Love is Jesus willingly trapped in the body of a fleshly human, subjected to the blackness and darkness of this world for many years, only to be killed for us. Love is Jesus willingly subjecting to immense torture and pain, a slow death, a crown of thorns and nails in his limbs, to be crucified for our souls. Love is God willing to give up so much... just for us puny humans. Love is the Lord's huge patience and capacity to forgive and still bail us out of our troubles for the million times we screw up. Love is God comforting us in our sorrow, love is God protecting and guiding us each passing day with His invisible presence. Love is God reminding us how much He still loves us despite the wrongs we committed in our past. Love is God promising that He won't leave us even in our broken faith. Love is God promising to still love us and save our souls with second, third, fourth, a hundred chances despite the future wrongs we will commit... as long as we believe in Him.
Love is God sending His only begotten Son down to earth, in a world plagued by sin, to suffer and die for us, to shed His blood and be the perfect sacrifice so that all mankind could have a clear path to Heaven. Love is Jesus willingly trapped in the body of a fleshly human, subjected to the blackness and darkness of this world for many years, only to be killed for us. Love is Jesus willingly subjecting to immense torture and pain, a slow death, a crown of thorns and nails in his limbs, to be crucified for our souls. Love is God willing to give up so much... just for us puny humans. Love is the Lord's huge patience and capacity to forgive and still bail us out of our troubles for the million times we screw up. Love is God comforting us in our sorrow, love is God protecting and guiding us each passing day with His invisible presence. Love is God reminding us how much He still loves us despite the wrongs we committed in our past. Love is God promising that He won't leave us even in our broken faith. Love is God promising to still love us and save our souls with second, third, fourth, a hundred chances despite the future wrongs we will commit... as long as we believe in Him.
God is love. And His love never fails.
That is what my definition of love is.
In my opinion, I am the weakest person of faith. I struggle and struggle each passing day between the sorrows of my depression, my negative thoughts, my empty feelings and self-pity. I struggle with my feelings of jealousy and attention-seeking, my selfishness and bitterness. I struggle between temptation of the world and the Word of God. I struggle to heal my soul, to be a better person, to bless others for God. I struggle to give myself fully to Him, because I am selfish and I do not fully trust Him.
In my opinion, I am a broken soul. I see nothing good in me in which I can bless others with.
Yet it is these small moments when the Holy Spirit brings such quiet joy and comfort to me. God's reminder that He still loves me even though I can't even love myself. That sometimes it's okay to be weak and tired, and feel useless and stupid, if only I would go to Him and let Him comfort me.
I am trying Lord. I am trying.
Forgive me once more for all that I have done.
And thank you for Your love. Your faithful, perfect love which nothing on earth can ever rival with. Show me how to love like You have loved me, thank you for the amazing grace in which you bestow on us.
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