A Tale

I have another awesome story here. 

Once upon a time, Emerson was arguing with a friend, Ashley. They argued alllllll day, till when they separated at the end of their argument, they promised to never see each other again, despite the earlier promise of Ashley that he would let Emerson borrow his two Legally Blonde movie series. See, Ashley loved these two movies so much; it took Emerson six months to convince him to watch it with him, but eventually Ashley could not bring himself to bear the pain of watching the movies with another person, even his best friend. He loved the joy and bliss of it so, that it pained him even to share such happiness with Emerson. After storming off in a huff, Emerson called to apologize to his buddy. Promised to never hurt those movies. Promised that he would treat them well while Ashley was away. He made so many promises in turn for only another promise: Ashley's Legally Blondes... and his forgiveness. 

Ashley curtly replied that he was willing. Overjoyed, Emerson rushed to their meeting spot they always met every Wednesday night as their typical hangout, even arriving early, just so he could surprise Ashley and give him a hug. Half and hour passed... and the singing in the karaoke joint were at full swing. An hour passed, and the singing had died down, but now a lecture was going on somewhere down the public square. Two hours... and Emerson gave up. Ashley had never 'stood' him up before. Rage flooded through his blood. Ashley did this on purpose. ON PURPOSE. Getting his hopes up... allowing him to think that he would have the joy of watching Legally Blonde that night... only to have to sit two hours away with deteriorating hopes. It wasn't a waste of time, however. Emerson joined the happy group in the karaoke joint and sang "Love You Like A Love Song" like a pro, beating out even Selena Gomez, and heard a most uplifting speech by the motivational speaker down by the public square. With little time left to spare, he rushed to help a little lady who was having trouble getting her dishes washed up as her restaurant was closing for the night. His true colors of gentlemanship shone through, and for the first time, he realized that Ashley was a bummer at being a gentleman. He sighed. Poor Ashley. He would never get things right with a lady. 

Emerson checked his phone. Not a single text, or a call, or a message to explain his absence. Oh well. He must hate me, he thought. His anger was so drastic, he vowed never to speak to such a betraying friend ever again. His vows stretched to beating him up the next time he saw him, smashing his skull, skinning him alive, chopping him into little pieces, or ripping him up alive and feeding him to hungry monkeys. Yes, Emerson plotted... he must do so. And so, as the night went by and he returned home Legally Blondes-less, Emerson had one vow and one vow only: Never to speak to a betraying friend. Ever again. EVER. 

... and also, to beat him up and teach him a lesson, if possible. 

THE END.